A couple of weeks ago, I went to Brent school to hear a talk by the Upper School principal about 3rd culture kids. It was very informative and interesting. The man who gave the talk is American but has been at Brent here in Manila for 15 years and has children who were born here and have never lived in America. He talked about how long it really takes adjusting to moving somewhere else and how hard it can be on families who go from one overseas assignment to another for many years. After the definition of 3rd culture kids there are some things just to make you laugh from the beginning of his talk.
A Third Culture Kid (TCK) is a person who has spent a significant part of his or her developmental years outside the parents’ culture. The TCK builds relationships to all of the cultures, while not having full ownership in any. Although elements from each culture are assimilated into the TCK’s life experience, the sense of belonging is in relationship to others of similar background.
Pollock and Van Reken
***Some of these questions are very funny to me-others are things that I don't get still!
You Know You’re a TCK When-(comments in parentheses are mine not part of the presentation)
1. You can't easily answer the question: "Where are you from?“-(I usually just say the US unless I know I am talking to another American)
2. You flew before you could walk.
3. You have a passport but no driver’s license. (our kids do)
4. You run into people you know at airports. (Greg would say that I do but that is because I inherited from my dad not being able to go anywhere and not run into someone that I know)
5. You feel odd being in the ethnic majority. (I still feel a little odd being so much in the minority-especially when people are pointing at us and taking pictures of the children but I have heard that is even more prevalent in other Asian places like China)
6. You keep dreaming of a green Christmas
7. You tell people where you're from, and their eyes get big.
8. You sing songs to yourself in a language other than English. (we don't do this at all but I bet our driver laughs at me and Ashley singing in the car-I try not to torture him with this too often)
9. You don't know how to count American money … and you are American. (I find it VERY funny that because their math books are American Scott and Ryan have both had units about counting money-who is that going to help besides us? and the 2 American kids in Scott's class-Ryan's class is now also counting Philippine money and I found out that they cover American money because the kids at Brent take standardized tests that come from the States and have questions about money on them.)
10. The family gathers around the computer to check the E-mail. (we do get excited about this!)
11. You see a picture of yourself, from seven years ago, on someone's refrigerator.
12. You pull into a gas station and expect people to come running out screaming, “Welcome"-(no they do not do that here in Manila at any gas station I have been to!)
13. You consider the value of a purchase by calculating its price in two or more currencies.
14. You consider a city 500 miles away to be "very close."
15. You sort your friends by continent. (the boys have maps in their rooms and have certainly learned a lot about geography since coming here!)
16. Fitting 15 or more people in a car seems normal to you. (I wouldn't do it but it certainly is common here)
17. Your parents' siblings are strangers to you, but you know 50-60 Aunts and Uncles who are no blood relation to you at all. (We WON'T let this happen to our kids!)
18. Your wardrobe can only handle two seasons: wet and dry. (I will have lots of fun shopping for new winter clothes for everyone when we come home)
19. Your high school memories include those days that school was cancelled due to riots, demonstrations, coups, bomb threats or typhoons.
20. It scares you more to send your kids to public school than it would to send them on an unescorted plane trip
21. The smell of a burning mosquito coil makes you feel nostalgic.
22. You don't know whether to write the date as month/day/year, day/month/year, or some variation thereof. (I do wonder about this on forms sometimes)
23. There are times when only your family knows what you're saying.
24. You embarrass yourself publicly by picking up and using foreign expressions.
25. You won't eat Uncle Ben's rice because it doesn't stick together.
26. You look for a rubbish bin to dispose of used toilet tissue instead of using the bowl.
27. You say “rubbish bin”, “lollies”, “boot”, “lorry” or “lift” or think a nice time is “lovely” despite the eagle on your passport.
28. You think failure to use a well-paved shoulder during a traffic jam is a kind of group madness.
29. Hot water coming from the other faucet surprises you.
30. You miss house lizards. (I have certainly gotten used to seeing them but don't think I will miss them when we leave Manila)
I felt like I really learned a lot from the talk-it was certainly eye opening and I now don't see our plans to be here for 3 years as big a deal as it once was, knowing families who have been away from "home" for many years longer and call many places home now.
I felt like I really learned a lot from the talk-it was certainly eye opening and I now don't see our plans to be here for 3 years as big a deal as it once was, knowing families who have been away from "home" for many years longer and call many places home now.
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